Another COVID YEAR!

Always look for the beauty in life!

Well... isn't THIS fantastic?! It appears that I am notorious for waiting years in between posts! How can I not have at least one hour every day to express and share my thoughts, my accomplishments, and the challenges I face with those of you who actually get some sort of enjoyment from reading my blog? By the way, thanks!

So within the last couple of years, things have definitely changed. Our country and actually, now globally we are entering into year two of living LA COVID-19 VIDA! We live in a world of to mask or not to mask, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate.

I don't know where you stand on these and this is in no way a political post so not going to go there...all I want to say is, so far I (and my family) have survived, and keep going strong with no plans of stopping! We are survivors - PERIOD! I am appreciative of the things in my life - GOD, Family & Friends.

I'm still trying to "figure it all out" when I finally do figure it all out, I am going to throw the biggest party my town has ever seen! (That was a little too exaggerating, but you get the gist!)  

Do you know just how challenging this journey to "figure out my life" has been? Well, maybe some of you do know, as you may also suffer from the same thing I do...I call it Career Confusionitis. 

Career Confusionitis is when an individual suffers from an unclear state of mind. This occurs when choosing a profession, occupation, and trade or commits to a permanent calling. 

I bet some of you have no idea how difficult it is to choose just one thing to focus on for a person like me. Although I haven't been diagnosed with A.D.D., I sometimes wonder if that's what's wrong with me? 🤷

Take, for example, a friend of mine asked me, "What is it that you REALLY want to do?" I looked at her like a deer looking into the headlights. "Uh, well, what do you mean?" I asked her back, but immediately I began to feel that lump and pressure in my throat. I knew that I had to think of an answer - the RIGHT answer immediately. I could feel my heart beating faster. 

"You know," she said. "If you were given one wish to come true right now, what would you choose to do for the rest of your life?"

I thought we were friends! How dare she ask me this? How the hell am I supposed to narrow it down to just one thing? I mean really, there's: dancing, traveling, cooking, singing, arts/crafts, swimming, camping, boating, marketing, video games, writing, drawing, baking, painting, decorating, party planning, real estate, gardening, home improvement, advertising, oh my gosh - the list goes on and on and on!

I grabbed my Chocolate Martini and replied, "Honestly, I don't know." I felt like crying! Why was this so hard for me? You see, I like to do a lot of things, some I thoroughly enjoy doing, others I have an interest in learning more about, and others I am good at doing or just have experience doing them and don't really mind doing them. 

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "OK, well don't sweat it, whatever is meant for you to do, will come. Maybe not today, or tomorrow but it will come, just have faith and take rest knowing the right thing will come." Honestly, I felt as if nothing was answered but her words did bring me comfort. We sat and enjoyed the rest of our evening, dining and drinking our martini's - just being in the now! OH GEEZ! One more thing to add to my list: Winemaking and tasting! Wouldn't that be a fun thing to learn and do? 

Later that evening, I thought about it...."WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?" Not to be confused with what I have to do. For years and years, I have been doing what I have to do - to survive. I am not trying to sound ungrateful, so please forgive me if that is how it comes off.

I AM GRATEFUL for all the past business opportunities. I have grown so much because I was given a chance to learn and develop additional skills. Somehow, however, deep down inside myself, I know I was meant to do more with this one life I have been given. That is the answer I seek - what was I born to do? How can I contribute to society and be happy and enjoy what I do? 

So, my friends, I will leave you with this: I am not giving up! I will search my little heart out and will share with you what I find and learn.

Until the next time, be kind and love one another!